Okay... Something else for me to freak out about. They've invented a video game to help overseas students get over culture shock. It appears that things like drinking & public smooching are a lot to take in and the inventor hopes that his game, called "C-Shock" will help these students get over the shock. I don't know about you but here is another example of using technology to make life much more "convenient".

I admit that sometimes being in a situation that you are not familiar with may cause stress upon it's introduction, however we eventually get over it. Why would we need some sort of video game to replace the input of family members? Can't we just ask someone?

I remember going to Berlin in the mid-eighties and seeing that everyone in the central - and very public - park was pretty much naked. Some wore socks but the rest were reading, playing frisbee and generally lounging around sans clothing. Sure, it was shocking. Perhaps more shocking to the people in the park was that we were clothed. However, I don't think a video game of any sort would have changed my reaction. It just so happened that public nudity was accepted in this park and to tell the truth, it was good to experience something like that. Why? Because it reminded me that people in different places live differently in some respects.

Here's another story for you. It appears that in France, there are Muslim women regaining their virginity through a medical procedure. You can read about it here. I'm not really sure how I feel about this. What about you? I mean, I can understand why women may want to do this but I find it a little sad that they feel it necessary. I mean, aren't humans supposed to reproduce? We don't have to be married to do this and perhaps it's our faulted belief that marriage is the institution that allows us to have sex. So, why is it that we preach abstinence until after marriage?

Funny. To me it's just the audacity of the human race that makes us all believe that we are better than any other creature on the planet and that our so-called "morals" & intelligence put us in a higher position. If we just followed our urges and mated and didn't set false expectations, maybe things wouldn't be so controversial...

Sorry for the lack of posts last week.

I was tired, extremely bitchy and lacking in patience so I felt it was best to give it a break. The one positive thing that went on was that I was busy. Very busy and so didn't have time to really release the wrath I would normally do under the circumstances...

Personally, I prefer to be busy because it makes me feel like I am useful. I cannot stand to feel like I am not contributing to the things going on around me or to be bored silly. I prefer to be involved and "on". This week will probably feel much the same so I really should be getting more sleep so that my brain is in gear.

I took some time today to finally read some of the posts on those blogs that I read with regularity. Today, I read Once Upon a Time which was posted on Audi's site. It discussed the whole "happy ever after" thing that girls are barraged with when they are little girls and how, when these same girls become adults, they are extremely disappointed by the fact that "Prince Charming" doesn't exist. I tend to agree. We hear stories when we are children and then grow up seeing the same kind of thing on telly and in the theatres and in books. She suggested that we sue the movie studios for emotional distress. Hmmm. Think we could get this stuff to stop? I've come to learn that that extreme romance doesn't exist and that we should just be looking for someone with whom we can feel comfortable with and who we know will treat us with respect. In return, we have to offer the same thing to the prospective partner.

Not that I've been thinking much about relationships lately, it just reminded me of some thoughts I'd had recently about the unrealistic portrayal of love in the media...

I heard that there had been an earthquake in the UK over the weekend. I was a little surprised because you don't often hear of this kind of thing happening there. I hadn't realized that the area was seismically active.

The weather was beautiful over the weekend and seems to be continuing into today. I went for a long walk with a friend on Saturday and it was lovely weather for walking. It was really great having such wonderful weather and great company for the two hours that we walked along the waterfront.

Tee will be coming back next week for a visit and I can't wait. Haven't seen him since December so I'll be looking forward to drinking laicha, going to karaoke and knowing that he'll be working on the next step to reach his goal. It's going to be fun and more than a little inspiring. See you next Monday!

I went to karaoke with some friends from school last week and had loads of fun. I just hope that next time they can stick around for longer... The rest of the weekend saw me getting some exercise, taking a friend out for driving practice because her test will be this week and drinking too much caffeine. No films although I am toying with the idea of seeing "Hot Fuzz" again if it's still playing when Tee arrives...

Not much else is really that new so I'll spare you the tedium however, things are looking up this week so hopefully, I get to posting more often.

In the meantime, have a great week everyone!

I was reading this article on the disappearance of honey bees in the US today after reading a similar article in the local newspaper this morning. The local paper suggested that it was due to the vibrations from mobile phones and how they are making it difficult for honey bees to communicate. Scary, don't you think?

If we don't figure out what is happening with this, one-third of our foodstuffs will disappear because that is the ratio of foods that need to be pollinated by these industrious creatures in order for them to grow...

It's finally the end of the week and I cannot wait to sleep in tomorrow. I haven't been making a very big effort to get enough sleep this past week. Perhaps that's been part of my problem...

I was happy to see a new episode of my favourite tv show of late Ugly Betty last night. I actually got some work done around the house AND got some relaxation time in as well. I just love this show! I suppose it's because it appeals to little bit of drag queen part I possess. I think that I will take a cue from the relaxation part of yesterday and hope that it will continue throughout the weekend.

That said, I wanted to let "T" know that I'll be thinking about his news today. I was saddened by it and will have him and his familyin my thoughts. Take care, mon ami!

Here it is Thursday and I'm already feeling that this week has been way too long.

Not only am I extremely tired, I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the story of what happened on Monday in Virginia. I suppose that everyone is. I think this is one of the key problems with the way that media invades our home.

Last night, while channel-surfing, I came across the comments of a Rev. Franklin Graham who is counselling students at Virginia Tech. who was appearing on Nancy Grace (who, by the way is just horrible). His comment, and I quote was "And this young man that we have seen on television with this hatred and what he did, he was filled with evil. "

What?!? Did I hear that correctly? Did this guy say filled with evil!?! Is this a responsible thing for a person who is position of power and who is counselling students to say? Does this mean that all those with a mental illness are evil?

I tried not to get angry about it but felt that I just wanted to smack this so-called Christian up the side of the head... After all, it's tough enough for peole with mental illness to get accepted and now this idiot telling everyone that this type of illness is evil! In my opinion, this person shouldn't be counselling people.

That'll teach me for stopping by Nancy Grace's show.

This shooting was a terrible thing. For all of the families who lost loved ones, I offer my condolences. It is a sad thing that a person that was ill to have felt it necessary to do this. It was misguided and I feel sad for ALL involved. Including the person who did it.

I realize that this might make me unpopular but I would only hope that if I needed help that I would get it.

We all have a responsibility and I wonder if we all have to be more aware of the trouble signs when a person is in crisis. I don't know all of the facts surrounding this case and I think that I will probably turn it off. It pains me to see that this has happened once again and that people's opinions can be so misguided as the idiot reverand who was on that awful show yesterday...

I didn't like her when she pulled that whole angst-ridden stuff however I just love Alanis Morrisette for this! It's just what we needed to get the annoying original version out of our heads.

Take a look for yourself!

Sometimes, things that happen in that country to the south of Canada really freaks me out...

While I should probably be more freaked out about what happened in Virginia yesterday, I am more concerned with stories like this. In another area of that state, they will be holding the "Bloomberg Gun Giveaway" that is basically a lottery of sorts where the winner will walk away with a free handgun or rifle valued at up to $900 US. However, in order to enter, you'll have to spend at least $100 at one of three gun shops in the town. And, apparently, the draw will still take place even after the shooting at Virginia Tech.

I don't want to talk too much about yesterday's events however, I did want to mention that often times, desperate events like this happen because of exclusion. And it is only after an event like this that people begin to wonder - yet again - what the reason was for this. But now it's too late. Perhaps, we need to be proactive and stop excluding people for whatever reason it is that makes others feel superior. Skintone, ethnicity, sexuality, "cool" factor are just some of the reasons that people are made to feel inferior.

Having been the victim of this kind of taunting myself, I can identify with the whole exclusion feeling. Luckily for me, I chose the "humour" reaction and not that of violence. However, there is a fine line, let me tell you. Nobody likes to be singled out and taunted. And I cannot say that this is what the shooter in Virginia was experiencing. All I want to say is that if we tried harder to be inclusive with others, than perhaps we could spare ourselves the fear and death.

Here's another article from the Guardian that reported on the results of a study that suggests that the $1 billion dollars spent in the US on a teenage abstinence program was a waste of money. It appears that the program in no way affects teenagers decision to have sex. (Gosh. Shouldn't the government have learned from Jessica Simpson? Didn't she and Nick get married so that they could have sex? They swore to abstinence as well)

Upon discussing this with someone today, his comment was that perhaps the US really does have to change it's policy to "Make love, not war"...

Sometimes it flows and other times it trickles...

I could be talking about a river but today what flows is creativity. Not that I am feeling very creative today but I have had my share of "projects" come to completion. For the sake of bragging rights, I'd like to share a few of them with you.

First, there's my mobile. I decided to expose my girlie side and managed to throw in a few of my "drag queen" sensibilities to complete this work. Inspired by some really interesting designs in Japan, I went to the local Japanese nail salon & purchased glue and a whole load of crystals and such. The centre piece was purchased at one of those funky jewelry shops and creatively cut to fit on my phone. A bit over the top? Sure, but what the hell?

Now, I've been telling you all that I was taking pottery classes with this amazing artist who is originally from Japan. This past weekend, I went to pick up my finished pieces and I must say that I was pretty happy about what I came back with. Even the pieces that had problems with the glazing were funky in their own way.

These images are a grouping that I am calling "Water, earth & fire". These were hand built and I must say that these were by far my favourite to create. This is mainly because I could feel them emerge from a piece of clay and then later I chipped away to give them their unique shapes.

And a couple of handbuilt plates. These two are quite interesting in how they were created. They are slab works that involved the weave of fabrics.

Then, there's this piece that just evolved. Another slab however this time used a technique that was really quite ingenious. I promised the instructor that I wouldn't tell anyone so it's going with me to my grave. I hope that you enjoy it as I do.

Now, here are the ones that had problems with the glazing. It was most likely too thick and you can kind of tell by looking at the outside but I also took shots of the inside. They are not able to be used with food however I was thinking they'd make nice flower pots.

And here are the funky inner workings:

As you can tell, the glaze bubbled inside. At first, I was a little disappointed but then cleaned it out and noticed the charm it had.

Lastly, I'd like to share this with Robert. I made this t-shirt a long time ago as a kind of joke. When I was in Japan, there were all kinds of clothing with weird expressions on them so this one is just a "celebration" of that. While the characters make total sense, you can totally guess what the reaction would be with some white girl wearing it. It says, in two different versions of the Chinese language "Help Wanted. Hunky Man Slave". Maybe I should sell the things...

So, there it is. Creativity has flowed like a river for me over the last couple of weeks. I've even taken up writing on the side so that I can keep it flowing. It feels good.

I've got a few minutes left on my lunch break so I thought that I would jot down a few thoughts. After looking at my last post, I am wondering if I actually can accomplish a short one...

It's raining here today and my office is really chilly. This doesn't stop me from feeling like I should just take a nap for an hour or two though. Besides, despite the precipitation, it's still pretty bright outside.

I don't know what it is that's got me contemplating such serious subjects as love and construction however, I haven't quite kicked the whole frame of mind. Yesterday, I wondered why I was so much of a girl. You know the one, I'm sure. The kind of girl that envisions a relationship that may or may not exist yet is too scared to confront the truth and ask. Face-to-face communication is easy for me, except if it has a high probability of containing some sort of rejection.

I suppose that it's really not that special. I think that most people fear rejection. However, I see people that handle it way better than I do and I have to say that I admire these people.

It's funny that I'm even talking about this. For the most part, I'm quite independent, yet there are situations that I get myself into that cause me to question who I am and what I really want out of life. Recently, there has been such a situation and those that are here and tired of me talking about it might want to stop reading here.

Sometimes, I convince myself to let go and stop trying to be so strong. Unfortunately, when I do, I fall into the same stupid patterns. I've decided to stop letting my guard down because it eventually causes me to question myself much more than I usually do.

I hate second-guessing myself. I get to the point when I figure it all out and then I relax the high standards that I have for myself and then the questioning starts. Did I offend that person? Does he really like me? Was that appropriate behaviour? Why? Why do people question themselves?

I guess it's down to what level of sensitivity a person possesses. I am just too hyper-sensitive. I figure it's time to toughen up. Easier said than done, I think.

Perhaps it's just down to what Robert said in his post the other day. Success. What is my idea of success? What do I need to get there?

Maybe what I should be asking is how do I alter my ideal of success?

That said, I really believe that I have to get back to depending on myself for that. I should not be dreaming of that perfect relationship that will make me whole. I AM whole and anything else would just be icing on the cake. I must believe it.

Okay, so I realize this is pretty whiney. I did go for a really nice walk with some friends yesterday and times like that are all one needs. All of the other stuff comes from within!

Right. It's been a few days since I last posted. And, for the first time in a long time, it's because I was really busy. Not only did things at the office seem to be piling up, but somehow my outside world was really packed with things.

Armed with seriously high levels of caffeine, I managed to get through it. Yet, I cannot help but feel that this old body of mine has paid somewhat of a price. It is times like this that reminds me that I am not as young as I once was. (But then, who of us is not in this position).

My last post made it sound as if I was down on love. Partly that could be correct yet there are different aspects of life that I've been observing that has made me see that many of us are trying to live up to some pretty unrealistic ideals. And, I suppose it's not just me wondering about this. Robert recently questioned the measurement of success.

In many ways, we're all still searching for something. Money, success, and happiness are just a few. However, where do these ideas come from? Why are we always wanting something better? Why is our house never big enough, our wealth not enough and our lives not full enough? Could it be that this is the evil underworkings of the media and those big companies trying to separate us from our hard-earned currency? I suppose that it's not the only answer, yet it's a start.

We see things everyday that cause us to question ourselves. Do we have enough sex, or love? How do we know what enough is? I was thinking this the other day when I was reading a post by my friend at Isn't It Queer (If you are offended by highly sexual content, you might want to pass on checking out the link).

My point is that even though he's definitely getting way more than I am, should I compare? Being a woman and not a gay man, perhaps it's best not to make a comparison yet we're all human. (Once you remove the categorizations we're all equal as human.) If it weren't the story of a friend and simply porn, should I be looking for that kind idealized and unrealistic sex? If my theory is true, then the experiences of my friend are above average and that in no way should I think that I am less "successful" or "desirable". It's simply that we all think that we need bigger or better things.

Is there anything that we can do to stop ourselves?

On another note, I went to see Grindhouse last weekend. I must say that I quite enjoyed this double feature even though there were a couple of minutes that I felt a little ill. Wasn't sure it was the film or what I'd eaten for lunch. All I can say is go and see it. I'm a huge fan of Rose McGowan and Kurt Russell. It didn't disappoint. However, I couldn't figure out why it was only the women laughing. It was a scream! I am glad that I went by myself though.

Is it weird seeing films by oneself? I always feel like it's easier in a way because you don't have to sense whether the person you've gone with is enjoying it. I went to see Shaun of the Dead with a group of friends and one rather weak stomached person came even though we told her it was a zombie film (okay, so maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it might be funny) and she literally had to be carried out of the theatre because she was shaking (you would have thought that if the subject matter was too much why one would sit through the whole film) so much. After that, I have been very cautious about who I go to films with.

On the creative front, I've taken to decorating my mobile phone with tiny little crystals. I suppose that most would think it a little over the top but well, since when are Leos not over the top. If I can find a digital camera, I'll try to upload a photo of it later. Let's just say that any drag queen would be proud.

Speaking of drag queens, have I ever mentioned that I have a secret desire to be one? No, not a man but that over the top kind of bigger than life person in fancy frocks. For those who knew me in my younger days, you will know that in high school I took makeup lessons by referring to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Wow, this post is getting pretty epic. However, I'm just going to keep typing 'til I drop. Who knows when I'll get my next chance to post?

I heard from Audi that Björk is amazing. I can't wait to see her in concert. She just seems so free and incredibly creative.

Speaking of creativity, I'll be picking up my pottery projects from the studio tomorrow. I have a vague idea what these projects will look like but it's always a mystery as to what it'll look like after it's been fired.

I've been toying with the idea of getting literary and writing a book again. So, I've started carrying around a notebook. Sometimes I jot things down that I find inspiring and found that even that little bit helps. Who knows, maybe I will one day abandon this little piece of cyberspace and work on something more substantial.

Okay, so I'm going to finish this off with another little mini-rant and hopefully this post doesn't seem to schizophrenic...

Last weekend, I drove out to China Beach near Jordan River, BC and I couldn't help but be disgusted. Outside the perimeter of this beautiful park area, they are creating some rather inappropriate residential developments. This is a place that I came to as a child and saw the jewel of a beach that was the end of a magical trail through the forest. Now, on it's outskirts some freaking developers are building houses and destroying some truly beautiful landscape. It breaks my heart!

The trouble is that lately, we have these money-grubbing developers buying up land in the suburbs and building these "crackerjack" houses, townhouse and condos with materials that aren't even suitable for pet housing. They are springing up everywhere. There's even talk of building highrise condos in the suburbs. The suburbs of a city with heavy restrictions on the height of buildings. The suburbs where they can skirt around the rules of the main part of the city and build these monstrous buildings in what they say will be improvement to my area when in fact, we know it's so that the politicians can generate more tax revenue that they will inevitably piss away.

I've been thinking that I might as well move into the city because at least the development has already happened. Actually, my dream is to buy an island and create my own little nature-ruled utopia. It'll probably never happen but if I had to strive for success (as mentioned earlier), that you would be my definition. A utopia that uses respectful and less harmful methods to power and run.

Anyway, back to the idiot developers... There are loads of people who oppose these developments and there are so many reasons. Bad infrastructure planning (ie. poor transit service and roads), the destruction of natural areas, the high cost are a few but there is one other consideration that these idiots never mention. The seismic activity. Vancouver Island is situated in a very precarious position in that three fault lines converge. They've been talking about "the big one" for a long time yet they don't pay attention to it. We have underground natural gas lines that could rupture and catch fire and now they have planned these 24, 29 or even 52 story building in a zone that would see these places collapse like the World Trade Centre Towers.

My question is, what is wrong with these people?

Anyway, folks, it's getting late. I hope you enjoyed the post. See you soon!

Love 101 ?

Have you ever wondered about those long, lingering kisses that one sees in films?

The other day, I was watching some mindless film that had a love story entrenched in it and I began to think. What are those vacuum-like kisses all about? Are they a reflection of love in general or are they a plot to idealize what love is and what it should look like? And how did kissing start in the first place?

What I really want to know is, is this what true love is supposed to be like? If our love does not look like this, are we fooling ourselves? Should we feel inferior because our “love” doesn’t fit the “norm”?

Then I began to think about kisses in the media (on film & in photographs)...

We all know that the people that we see in these films are actors. They are not in love with each other at all and, in fact, are being paid to kiss like that. Knowing all of this, why are we buying this whole cinematic “love story” shite?

Why are we accepting that this is what it should be like if we are in love? If you ask me, we have to stop trying to measure up to the ridiculous standards of fictional cinema, and just let things evolve in a way more realistic way. After all, intimacy doesn’t come from the ideology of kissing, it comes from a connection that is far deeper.

It really is frightening how much we are manipulated by media and this issue really brought it to the forefront of my thoughts for the week. It’s no wonder we are always searching for what’s on the other side of the fence. We can’t help but be barraged by these media images, can we? I suppose that we’ll just have to turn it all off.

In the meantime, just enjoy who you’re with and make an effort to stop trying to live up to those silly “ideals” that are out there. Live and love folks. You don't have to behave like a vacuum to be in love.

Dakujem všetkym slovenským priatelŏm, ktori si klikli na moju stranku! Lola...

I must be overly excited about the Björk concert or something but I've started dreaming about Iceland...

Last night's internal film was that I had gone there, met some girl that was my friend (although I didn't really recognize her) and then tried to visit Audi at her office. Unfortunately, by the time I got there, she wasn't. So then, trying to capitalize on the short time that I was visiting there, I moved on to see Hildur (Hi Hildur, I hope that you are well!) but as I was walking up the main street towards the place I imagined her to live, I woke up.

It's funny, because Audi's workplace wasn't where I remembered it to be when I was in Reykjavik in 2000...

I'm gonna go see Bjork!
I'm gonna go see Bjork!
May 23 in Burnaby!
I'm gonna go see Bjork!



By the way, have you seen this Bjork video that is actually dubbed with disco music? Cool, non?